BEAUTIFUL. A client experience

This incredible post is from a gorgeous client, now friend. Thank you for your words C, and for trusting me to get in front of the lens. I am honored to have met you!

It’s challenging to find the words to express what it means when someone makes you feel beautiful, isn’t it? Most of the time, someone, often someone we love, will tell us we’re beautiful - sometimes, we might even believe them. But more often, we shy away from the compliment - and immediately allow the flip book of every perceived imperfection to scatter on fast forward through our minds. We sneakily pivot away from a camera lens - we have bajillions of photos of our kid’s, our partners, our cats and dogs, but very few of ourselves. And if we do, we take selfie’s - reposition the phone, practice how our heads and faces are tilted, crop, edit, filter until what we’re looking at doesn’t make us feel completely vulnerable to the world. 

“We tell ourselves that we’ll get pictures taken next year, when we’ve lost the weight we’ve wanted to lose.”

We tell ourselves that we’ll get pictures taken next year, when we’ve lost the weight we’ve wanted to lose, achieved the house project, yard work, you know - all of the things that we internally feel must be in place before we capture a moment for forever in a photograph.

This may not be you - but I can assure you, I have felt, thought, and done all of these things- and many more that are shameful to fess up to yet.

In my 42 years on this planet, never have I ever looked at a photo of myself and genuinely thought, “Oh my god - I’m beautiful.”

I mean, listen, I’ve had hundreds of pictures taken and there have legitimately been several that I’ve looked at and thought, “Hey! That’s a good picture!” But I’ve never n.e.v.e.r. looked at a photo of myself and truly believed that it was beautiful, and certainly not stunning. 

Recently, I have, however, had exactly those thoughts about a few of my friends photos that I’ve been invited to take in, and I can tell you that *they* have been - objectively! - stunning. 

Breath taking.

These brave women chose to gather up their bravery, push aside their feelings of inadequacy, and entrust an extremely talented photographer to capture them in a most vulnerable place by doing professional Boudoir photos.

People.

There are not enough exclamation points in all of the world to fully express how phenomenal their photos turned out. They allowed themselves to be a canvas for an artist, and that artist captured what we see in them every.single.day: their unique and profound beauty. Each of them expressed that it was so empowering - to give yourself over to the artist and allow them to create - to put yourself in vulnerable lingerie, exposing positions, and follow the guidance of the artist.

I looked at their photos and saw that they were beautiful. But what landed most heavily with me was that *they* saw them as beautiful.

I wanted to be brave.

And, to be honest, I’m closer to Moira’s age than Stevie’s, so I felt like if I was ever going to do this - now would be the time.

Our 22nd Wedding anniversary is this month… So… I booked a session.

Here is what I want you to know:

• I have been every weight from 128-218.

• I am a survivor of sexual abuse… if you’re 14 and they’re 25, you cannot consent my friends.

• I have battled eating disorders throughout my life.

• I’ve struggled with a love/hate relationship with my body… it refused to allow me to carry a child - but it also carried me through 5 - FIVE! full marathons.

• I’ve been married to a man for 22 years who has loved me, cherished me, fawned over me, believed in me, and has found me to be *truly* beautiful through all of the above - and dear lord, so much more. 

• Through all of everything - I still wondered if I could see myself as beautiful and stunning in such vulnerable photos.

If you know me, you know I’m an extrovert. 

It takes a lot to embarrass me. 

But I felt like I might vomit the morning of my shoot. 

Regardless, I showed up - and I am so very thankful I did! Stephanie has a unique way of making you feel completely comfortable! The session begins and builds as you grow in your confidence and your comfort level. Her studio is beautiful, clean, private and absolutely a place where you feel safe! 

After the shoot, I was ready to book another session because it was just so damn fun!!!! 

But - nothing can prepare you for when she shares your gallery of photos with you.

I kept looking at them thinking… really?! This is ME?!

Let me be clear about this… 

Yes - my hair and makeup were done professionally by Barbie Kramer, and she did a remarkable job!

There are dozens of pieces of GORGEOUS lingerie that has been meticulously cleaned for you to choose from, and you are encouraged to bring any personal items that you love. 

It’s not super natural, especially at first! Listen - I’ve NEVER done anything like this before - so this girl needed to be COACHED! But working with Stephanie FELT sooooo natural and safe! She KNOWS how to achieve the professional look of boudoir photos, and she guides you each and every step of the way.  

And yes… these are professional photographs taken in a studio with lighting, minor editing, etc. Comparing them to an every day photo taken at Great Aunt Linda’s BBQ in 113* heat with your children dripping all over you is an unfair comparison - but that, my friends, is also the POINT. 

When Stephanie revealed my gallery to me, I sobbed. 

Literally. Sobbed. 

I have never seen myself in this light - I’ve never believed that I could even help to create something so whimsical, charming, and yes, absolutely sexy! But here I am. The evening after I saw my photos, and I’m writing a novel on how I believe that every single person who has ever struggled with seeing themselves as beautiful (ummm… isn’t that everyone?!) should stop everything they’re doing, contact Stephanie and book a photo shoot.

Friends… it will change you.

And, oh ya, your partner might really love them, too. 😉